Friday, August 7, 2009

Borsa is made, wedding sweets are bagged...



in their cunning little bags, flower girl bags are made, ring pillow is made, artist's book is made and reproduced.

Hell, yeah! This anti(dote)wedding exhibition and performance is going to have every lovely detail I wanted for the wedding. No way I'm going to disappoint my family and friends, who would have enjoyed all these little details. And I'm going to have the party I dreamed of, even without the groom. There's still so much for me to celebrate: the completion of the original book and the epilogue drawings, the fact that so many people love and care about me and are happy I'm still all theirs. It's been good for me to reflect on the events of the last year and realize how very grateful I am for everything, even the dismal ending of the affair. Steep emotional learning curve for me, but unbelievable artistic energy along with it.

I'm cleaning house tonight so that I can mount the show tomorrow and Sunday. But everything's ready to go: labels, etc. It really hasn't been that hard to do it all myself, since I started a couple of weeks ago. Now we all just have to practice our performances...

Especially me, since I'm singing. :)

Thursday, August 6, 2009

I am outraged! Deneuve booed in Italy. What were they thinking?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/06/catherine-deneuve-booed-a_n_252612.html

Deneuve booed in Italy for no Italian subtitles to accompany her French reading at a festival! My poor darling! I rush to your defense! We all know your Italian is flawless, anyway! This is inexcusably brutish behavior on the part of the crowd, and the organizers of the event were idiots. And you suffer from stage fright, anyway. Please, don't be traumatized!

I am so sad!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Sketch for the doll


...I started working on tonight, last piece for my upcoming show.

It's going to be kind of an engineering nightmare, but the head(s) is(are) done and drying overnight.

Monday, August 3, 2009

A seemingly random list of movies, and a space:

Some Came Running, Minnelli, 1958.
This Property is Condemned, Pollack, 1966.
The Fugitive Kind, Lumet, 1959.

Splendor in the Grass, Kazan, 1961.

You win if you can write the essay before I get around to it.

My Days of Heaven.


If we humans are lucky, during the course of our lifetimes, we'll have a few perfect days. These are mine: sheer Paradise on earth. And, perhaps, I have enjoyed more than my fair share of them. There were even more perfect days, but no camera to record them.

Car broke down at Sun Harvest.

Bad :(
Nice woman parked next to me gave me a jump and it started up. Good :)
Drove it to Firestone and left it for the night. Bad :(
Ali came and picked me up and took me home. Good :)
Boss gave a vacation day while I wait to hear from mechanic so grown-up child doesn't have to take off work and lose income. Good :)
Took dog for hour-long walk in the coolness of the early morning, since I didn't have to go in to work. Good :)
Waiting to hear from garage. Bad :(
Tore down paper for next drawing series. Good :)
Danced barefoot to gypsy music in living room. Good :) Very, very good :)
Eating oatmeal with boiled raisins now. Good :)

Then will draw or scan until I hear about car status. Unexpected bounty: a day off that I wasn't expecting, in this wretched, hellish Texas August heat.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Scanning. And making things for my show in two weeks.

It's been a productive weekend, moving around from task to task. I put a lot of travel photos up on my flickr, now that I've got a scanner working again. But probably I won't feel as if I had a weekend because all I did was projects. That is, I didn't go out and have any "fun."

Friday, July 31, 2009

Friday off! Vacation day! Yay!

Have apparently lost my prescription sunglasses, or they've been stolen from my car. Booh. :( I seem to be incapable of holding on to a pair of prescription sunglasses for more than a few months, whereas I've had my Versace non-prescription ones since 1995. Go figure.

Put up two weeks' worth of clean laundry last night, organized and inventoried my closet for fall, figured out what gets handed down or given to charity. Now, if I can just iron and do my housework today, back to the studio for me and the next drawing series next weeek.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Guilty pleasures

I found a place that sells perfume decants. One can order a teeny-tiny vial of basically anything in the world one has ever dreamed of inhaling, no matter how expensive a full bottle of it would be, and no matter how esoteric the scent. They even have some vintage bottles left of perfumes that are no longer made, or that have had a change in formula (but I wonder how gone-off they may be?). It's a great idea, and also a great way to wear something for a couple of days to decide if you like it before you spring for a bottle.

If you, like me, are into perfume like some people are into wine, check it out:
http://theperfumedcourt.com/

When I got my Hermès twilly they had the good sense to include some Hermès perfume sample vials, two of which I'd spritzed in passing while running through the duty-free of some airport in Europe this summer: Un jardin sur Nil and Un jardin meditérranée. There was another one in the suite I thought might have been the one I loved best, Un jardin apres la mousson. This decant outfit sent me the missing third one, so now I'll puzzle it out. Love all three, but I think it must have been jardin meditérranée that smelled so good as the hours passed and it changed on my skin.

I'd like to write about perfume like other people write about wine. The first whif brings forward all kinds of associations, since, as I've written, for me memory resides in the nose.

I was wanting to try out some perfumes for fall with leather and tobacco notes, so Caron's Tabac Blond has arrived, and Knize Ten. Knize has been intriguing me since Vienna, because Mayerling murder-suicide Prince Rudolf had a scent created for him they still sell to this day. I can't remember now which one it is. Will have to do some research. Knize Ten right out of the vial had a really lovely black flower note -- like narcissus? -- but finished like new tires. Ew. No, not for me. Tabac Blond is much better. Dietrich wore it, but it has that synthetic note in it, like Chanel No. 5, that does not please my nose, but is a hallmark of perfumes of the thirties. What's it called? Aldeyhydes? It's what I can always still smell in what's left in a dried-up vintage perfume bottle and I don't like it.

My nose is overwhelmed tonight so I have to wait until tomorrow to try something I've never had the opportunity to try before: Guerlain Jicky. It's the turn-of-the-century grandmother of my own signature scent, Shalimar. I can't wait to smell what part of it is Shalimar and how it's different. I'm betting much more purple, if it's from the fin de siècle.

I got a tiny Guerlain Vol de Nuit, my old high school favorite, for old time's sake. It's more gardenia than I remembered, but lovely. And a tiny Bal à Versailles, a formerly very popular but now extremely hard to find perfume that smells like baby powder and exquisitely frosted white cakes -- in fact, I wore that one to my second wedding.

I discovered this decant outfit on my mission to find a sample of the perfume Deneuve authored in the seventies. Got it. Not suprisingly, it's related to YSL's Opium, my disco diva period favorite. Very strong, very exotic, an oriental in genealogy. I would never wear it except around midnight to go out. And, surprisingly, it seems like a scent for a brunette, not a blond.

If you like to read about perfume history and search by notes, this decanter has a very well-organized site, and also gives formulation dates, notes and so on for each scent. I could spend a small fortune, tiny vial by tiny vial, on research.

But, hands-down, for me House of Guerlain is it. Every one of my favorite scents is one of theirs. And then, Caron, very, very hard to find in the States.

I must admit, though, I have worn bourbon as a perfume. I love the way a really good bottle smells when you just open it. Or even Jack Daniels, when you first break the seal and inhale.

I smell h e a v e n l y right now :)

Well, this is cool!

One of my recent drawings got picked up by a flickr group as an icon used to invite other photographers and artists. And supposedly the administrator of this group may use three of my Botticelli Venus images posted recently in an upcoming discussion forum.

It's always gratifying to learn that people you don't even know from all over the world have somehow stumbled upon your work on the internet.

http://www.flickr.com/groups/venus-aphrodite/discuss/72157616218261856/

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Was to have been my next tattoo...



or at least half of it was going to be, as a wedding tattoo.

Who knows? Maybe I'll still get my bird. But I need to find a tattoo artist who can work it out totally for me. Those birds are really small on my Blue Willow dishes, so I'm mainly just guessing.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Blah. Stayed up too late last night, sewing and book-binding.


It's hotter than Hades today and boring. Most everyone is on vacation and it's quiet, too quiet. Think of all the millions of things I could be doing if I were at home and free.

My mind keeps returning over and over to Pollock's Toy Theatres and Museum in London today. If I were in London, I would go there and draw all day.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Bring it on, Mack truck.


(Drawing: My First Tattoo, Age Twenty-One)

Because I have spent the last ten hours documenting and mounting in my web archive every single print, drawing, painting and doll I've ever made that I want preserved there. Hundreds of images, neatly categorized. My whole life's work, back to juvenilia. I am covered in charcoal, pastel and paint, and a white sheet may be ruined, but it's done.

I should feel a huge sense of accomplishment, but there are still all those blasted photos to scan. And scanning is much less enjoyable and more time-consuming than tacking huge drawings up and photographing them. But those will be next. And then, finally, I will be caught up with my own artistic output, except for the performance part of my career.

Now I am going to sit outside and enjoy a well-deserved cup of strong coffee!

Friday, July 24, 2009

I'm touched that people are so kind to me.

I decided, since I was buying groceries anyway, to go ahead and order the cake for the Anti(dote)Wedding today. I explained very briefly to the nice baker that I was doing an exhibition and performance on the day I probably would have been married as a ritual end to this chapter of my life. He was a man in his thirties, and his eyes got moist and he told me how sorry he was and that the cake would be beautiful, he promised. I told him not to be sad, that it was fine, really, that I'm an artist and this is just how I have to process my life. But he was genuinely sympathetic and it was so touching!

Same thing happened when I talked to the florist about the wrist corsage I ordered. She promised me it was going to be exquisite and exactly as I had envisioned originally when X and I were making wedding plans.

And when I told a co-worker about having gone ahead and bought the dress I had picked out and that I'm going to wear it anyway (not just for the show, but afterwards, too), and about "performing" my vows for the witnesses gathered just as I would really have done to X at the wedding, she teared up, too. She's getting a divorce, so, of course, she's probably super-sensitive about affairs of the heart right now.

It's all fine! Really. And I am just fine. In fact, I'm more than fine. Look what a period of creative output my heart-ache has fueled since January. But I am so deeply, deeply moved at how sweet, kind and tender-hearted everyone has been with me as I plan this show. Thank you. Vous êtes très gentilles.

Most of my favorite ghastly dolls...



are now photographed and up on my flickr portfolio.

I love to photograph them in atmospheric light; it's a kind of "playing" with them that I enjoy. And some of them are fairly scary, even if I made them myself.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Now that I have a digital camera and a scanner that works...

I've been spending quality time with my flickr portfolio and my writing archive site on blogger, Somnambulit, for the past couple of evenings. If you're interested, take a look. I've tried to embed slide shows of the photographs and drawings that go along with various written pieces and travelogues.

I'm not there yet, since all the photographs prior to 2006 are prints and will have to be scanned. And we won't even speak of the hundreds of 36" x 28" drawings that must be tacked up outside in natural light to photograph them. Or the lithographs. Or the hundred scary dolls that need special, atmospheric lighting to document.

Bob's death has definitely driven home the lesson that this is the year I must catch up with myself documenting my own work. I resent it, since it takes time away from making new work. But, slowly but surely I will work through the backlogue, and, someday, it will be done.

I must admit it makes me feel a little better about my productivity as an artist to start to see my written and visual archives come together. Once I finish the making of something I'm no longer interested in it and just shelve it or store it as I move "on, on, on to the next one." This archiving process makes it clear to me that I really haven't suffered any long periods without artistic output. While I'm not as productive, say, as Picasso, I have managed to crank out a fair amount of work considering I've always worked full-time and that I raised two children while making the work.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Finished the first doll for the show.



I really like it. But I won't entirely document it until the show. It "does tricks." And it is really, really brutal and scary.

Those German Expressionists should have made dolls. But I guess they were mostly men.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Damn! Look what I found...

on some French guy's blog!

Jane Birken and Brigitte Bardot in bed in what appears to be some kind of soft-core vampire porn movie. I have no idea at all what movie this is. Will have to consult imdb immediately.

http://bonjourplanetearth.blogspot.com/2009/06/il-etait-une-fois-brigitte-bardot-et.html

Can't figure out how to embed from the site he nabbed the clip from.

****

Wait! It's (English title) If Don Juan Were a Woman. I've seen it, but forgot this segment of this epistolary movie. And it was Brigitte Bardot's FINAL movie.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Making a Ghastly Doll.


She has a jaguar mask.

Up early,

my dear old friend having departed at the crack of dawn to retrieve her beloved dog and help her adult son move today back home. I had walked Buster by 8 and so sat down to re-read Senso, since I now have done.

Yes, definitely, this is the new series: Senso Furs, somehow combining both Senso and Venus in Furs to make the drawings. Yep, I can definitely get into this. And, much to my surprise, the two boxes of sharp, new pens required to draw and ink another series had magically materialized in my mail box yesterday, when I hadn't had time to check the mail.

I'm going to make two or three new dolls for the August 14 in-house show, make one textile/embroidery piece for the show, and then, the paper for the drawings gets torn down. I'll fester thoughts and ideas while I sew this week, and then, I hope, start drawing the next week.

And I also know what I'm going to write next, which has nothing to do with the drawings, but that I'm not tellin' yet.

Yay! Art ideas!

But I still have to scan all those old drawings and photographs for the archive :(